I am starting to see some scary things happening with my baby. She is starting to shake more in her arms her BM's are getting really bad and I have this gut feeling something BIG and not good is getting reafy to take place with her. Moms you know that feeling the knots and the tension you feel clenching her heart and stomach, I am not a dooms sayer but we moms KNOW when something is getting ready to happen to one of our kids. I am afraid truly truly scared that this is going to be BIG bigger than we have ever faced yet. I feel it coursing through my whole body this feeling that I can;t really describe. Hopefully I am wrong but it is the same feeling I had right before I went to the doctor to find out about Ava at 6 months pregnant with her. I am venting to you all because there is no one else so plese hust pray for her and her our family and pray that tis fear I am feeling eases off from my heart.
pray for my baby
- Thread starter Tami03
- Start date
Tami - Please know that we do care about you and Ava. Stay positive for her. What a precious little girl you have. I do agree with Jeannine in that after getting stem cells the ride was like a roller coaster. If any of you have read our book, we called it Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. You are Ava's shining light and I know you will be there for her always. It's tough on you and the rest of your family, but stay focused in your fight to help Ava.
Thank You Just a reminder to stay strong Everyone.
Ava is getting ready to be tested for eplipesy I am seeing signs of seizure activity like I have. Ava's biological grandfather died Jan 07 from 2 massive seizures as well as my bio brother at the eight of eight. Between heredity and the stroke her chances of seizures is an almost definite. It feels like it is ALWAYS something, I am ALWAYS on guard just watching and waiting it is truly exhausting. But I soldier through it as best as I can. People have thought me hysterical and crazy for some of my reactions to Ava's problems. Like I refuse to accept it or just plain denial of the fact that she has limited abilities, and I guess it would make it easier mentally if that was the case but my mom has always told me that my stubborness and temper would come to two possible things, 1 my downfall or 2 I would change the world. I refuse to allow it to be my downfall and I don't want to change the world just my little piece of it. I have gone through hell in my life losing 2 babies, 2 assaults and addiction. I would gladly go through it all again if it brought me this strength so that I can fight for my children. I now know why I had to go through all of it --- to fight the hardest fight yet --- for the life of my daughter.
Anyway if ever there is anyone who questions if they can DO this what we do caring for the limited ability children remember this all your valleys in your life has prepared you for this. Living through your moments, fighting for your sanity, all of it has prepared you for this fight, because we al know the sayings--- as parents we would take a bullet, or go to the ends of the earth, we couldn't stop that "bullet" from striking our child but we are going to the ends of earth to find ways to help our babies. We as women are not Xena the warrior princess or a Amazon but we are the true warriors fighting an enemy that we can't see or touch, so we use our brains our intution as moms, our hearts and spirits with all of that combined we CAN"T lose.
Ava is getting ready to be tested for eplipesy I am seeing signs of seizure activity like I have. Ava's biological grandfather died Jan 07 from 2 massive seizures as well as my bio brother at the eight of eight. Between heredity and the stroke her chances of seizures is an almost definite. It feels like it is ALWAYS something, I am ALWAYS on guard just watching and waiting it is truly exhausting. But I soldier through it as best as I can. People have thought me hysterical and crazy for some of my reactions to Ava's problems. Like I refuse to accept it or just plain denial of the fact that she has limited abilities, and I guess it would make it easier mentally if that was the case but my mom has always told me that my stubborness and temper would come to two possible things, 1 my downfall or 2 I would change the world. I refuse to allow it to be my downfall and I don't want to change the world just my little piece of it. I have gone through hell in my life losing 2 babies, 2 assaults and addiction. I would gladly go through it all again if it brought me this strength so that I can fight for my children. I now know why I had to go through all of it --- to fight the hardest fight yet --- for the life of my daughter.
Anyway if ever there is anyone who questions if they can DO this what we do caring for the limited ability children remember this all your valleys in your life has prepared you for this. Living through your moments, fighting for your sanity, all of it has prepared you for this fight, because we al know the sayings--- as parents we would take a bullet, or go to the ends of the earth, we couldn't stop that "bullet" from striking our child but we are going to the ends of earth to find ways to help our babies. We as women are not Xena the warrior princess or a Amazon but we are the true warriors fighting an enemy that we can't see or touch, so we use our brains our intution as moms, our hearts and spirits with all of that combined we CAN"T lose.
Tami
I have a daughter who has brain damage. She caught bacterial meningitis when she was 3 days old and was even baptized at 3am because the doctors didn't think she would live through the night and if she did she might be nothing more than a vegetable. After spending two weeks in neonatal intensive care she was sent home.
All appeared normal (she walked at 10 months and spoke words at the normal ages) until Sherri was 18 months old when she started having seizures and didn't speak until she was almost 4 years old. I can't tell you how many doctors and hospitals we visited during her first 5 years. There have been many heartbreaks over the years. She has been abused physically and mentally as well as sexually. However, she did graduate from high school and learned to drive a car. The pain my daughter has suffered during her lifetime defies description.
The biggest problem with Sherri is she is borderline normal. Too slow for a normal independent life but not slow enough to be eligible for any type of programs. She is 35 years old now, married to a man who is similar to her in abilities and they live on their own and I manage their money. What will happen to them when I can no longer care for them is something I try not to dwell on too much.
It's not an easy road but having a "special" child sure teaches you a lot about being less criticial of peoples' shortcomings.
I have a daughter who has brain damage. She caught bacterial meningitis when she was 3 days old and was even baptized at 3am because the doctors didn't think she would live through the night and if she did she might be nothing more than a vegetable. After spending two weeks in neonatal intensive care she was sent home.
All appeared normal (she walked at 10 months and spoke words at the normal ages) until Sherri was 18 months old when she started having seizures and didn't speak until she was almost 4 years old. I can't tell you how many doctors and hospitals we visited during her first 5 years. There have been many heartbreaks over the years. She has been abused physically and mentally as well as sexually. However, she did graduate from high school and learned to drive a car. The pain my daughter has suffered during her lifetime defies description.
The biggest problem with Sherri is she is borderline normal. Too slow for a normal independent life but not slow enough to be eligible for any type of programs. She is 35 years old now, married to a man who is similar to her in abilities and they live on their own and I manage their money. What will happen to them when I can no longer care for them is something I try not to dwell on too much.
It's not an easy road but having a "special" child sure teaches you a lot about being less criticial of peoples' shortcomings.