Thank You Just a reminder to stay strong Everyone.
Ava is getting ready to be tested for eplipesy I am seeing signs of seizure activity like I have. Ava's biological grandfather died Jan 07 from 2 massive seizures as well as my bio brother at the eight of eight. Between heredity and the stroke her chances of seizures is an almost definite. It feels like it is ALWAYS something, I am ALWAYS on guard just watching and waiting it is truly exhausting. But I soldier through it as best as I can. People have thought me hysterical and crazy for some of my reactions to Ava's problems. Like I refuse to accept it or just plain denial of the fact that she has limited abilities, and I guess it would make it easier mentally if that was the case but my mom has always told me that my stubborness and temper would come to two possible things, 1 my downfall or 2 I would change the world. I refuse to allow it to be my downfall and I don't want to change the world just my little piece of it. I have gone through hell in my life losing 2 babies, 2 assaults and addiction. I would gladly go through it all again if it brought me this strength so that I can fight for my children. I now know why I had to go through all of it --- to fight the hardest fight yet --- for the life of my daughter.
Anyway if ever there is anyone who questions if they can DO this what we do caring for the limited ability children remember this all your valleys in your life has prepared you for this. Living through your moments, fighting for your sanity, all of it has prepared you for this fight, because we al know the sayings--- as parents we would take a bullet, or go to the ends of the earth, we couldn't stop that "bullet" from striking our child but we are going to the ends of earth to find ways to help our babies. We as women are not Xena the warrior princess or a Amazon but we are the true warriors fighting an enemy that we can't see or touch, so we use our brains our intution as moms, our hearts and spirits with all of that combined we CAN"T lose.